Local Woman Injured in Avalanche

Rescue workers were dispatched this morning in aid of a woman buried in piles of wrinkled clothing. "I've never seen anything like it." a shaken rescue worker told the News. It took workers several minutes to locate the woman, who was treated at the scene with chocolate and caffeine. She is expected to make a full recovery. Her naked family was extremely relieved, as well as a little cold and embarrassed.