Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Random Unjustified Fears

  • Whenever I smell something in the basement, I am immediately convinced that there is a gas leak and we will all be blown to smithereens. Even when it is obviously the towels I left in the washer for 2 days.
  • I once spent an entire night in my childhood home wondering what would happen if the furnace blew up and envisioning how I would make a sling for the dog from my quilt and jump to safety from the porch roof.
  • The Prize Patrol will come to my door and I'll be wearing the pajamas with the holes and my hair will resemble a styrocasaurus with twice as many horns as usual.
  • My car will careen off the Grand Island bridge and I'll be swept over Niagara Falls. (I actually had a recurring nightmare about this when pregnant. I went the long way around to NF for 7 months).
  • Scientists will discover a junk food that will ensure weight loss and is good for your heart. Naturally it will be the one I absolutely hate.
  • My kid will bring home a bat for a pet. Or a komodo dragon. Or a giant anaconda. (hmmm... suddenly a puppy doesn't sound so bad!)
  • I will never meet Tim Gunn.