Four Stages of Dirt

Stage 1: Dirt Obliviousness. This is when things are dirty and invisible at the same time. Note the difference from Stage 2. From this state, it is possible to progress to either Stage 2 or directly to Stage 3.

Stage 2: Dirt Ignorance. This is when the dirt is visible but you have entered into a peace treaty with it. So long as it does not wave its hands in the air, embarrass you with horrible smells or cause botulism or other fatal illnesses you are willing, in return, to ignore it for a little while longer. From this state it is possible to progress to Stage 4.

Stage 3: Dirt Flabbergastedness. This is when the dirt blindsides you into such a state of shock, that you cannot possibly ignore it. Like when you look over your husband's shoulder while he is hugging you and blurt out "My god! When did the ceiling fan get that disgusting?!?!" and you push him away and immediately climb on the table, shouting for Clorox, rubber gloves, a tarp, copious amounts of hot water and possibly the National Guard. Note the difference from Stage 2. From this stage you skip right over Stage 4. There is no progression except into disgust with everything followed by exhaustion and possibly death (sometimes your own, but not necessarily).

Stage 4: Dirt Eradication. This is when all dirt is banished from your home at the same time. A very rare condition that if you are lucky enough or insane enough to reach, it will be fleeting. How fleeting depends on how many people share your house and how adept they are at picking up after themselves. In other words, about five minutes. From this stage it is possible to continue back to any of the previous stages, either exclusively or in progression.

I Just Found

a big bag of Halloween lollipops in the back of my cupboard. Clearly it is time for tidying and reorganization! What does it say about me that I hovered over the garbage can for several minutes and then put it back. Lollipops don't go bad, do they?

I Just Love It When a Plan Comes Together

I have had this picture in my head ever since we moved into our house 6 years ago.

We have never used the coat closet in the entry hall for its intended purpose. It is so small that coats ended up everywhere else. I found the bench at a garage sale last summer (I'm still debating whether or not to paint it. Yellow? Red? White?) I painted the inside of the closet to match the kitchen (which horrified D. at the time and probably still does). In the fall we finally got the walls fixed and hung the coat hooks. Now the shelves are in the closet along with the bins I found 2 years ago (they pick up all the colors in the curtain fabric that's still under my bed). I'm still filling them and moving the contents around, but a lot of the flotsam and jetsam from everywhere has found a home. You can't quite see it in the picture but we've got an outlet in there for the cell phones and whatever else needs charging. The boys backpacks are no longer objects to trip over. We traded the ugly front door for a beautiful one. Behr, btw, calls that color "Lunar Shadow." We call it "Necco Wafer" (which horrified me until the 2nd coat went on).

But since we both picked it out from the 30 or so paint chips I had taped to the door, it's all good. Everyone has their own shoe bin, even guests (though that's still taking some work to make sure the shoes actually end up there). We're going to change the floor, but haven't had the chance to go pick something out yet.

Now when I come home, aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh. Organized heaven.

Gee, Am I Really that Transparent?

D. thinks all this sorting and organizing is a thinly disguised attempt at avoiding finding a job.  Maybe a little, but it's more equal parts full-blown panic knowing that once I go back to work it'll never get done and plain old I've-had-enough-of-all-this-now.   I can't tell you how much better I slept last night because there were no piles of crap around the bed.  Sure, I should have had this revelation six months ago, but I procrastinate on everything, even revelations.  

Treasure Hunting

It must be cabin fever or maybe longing for spring, but I've been sorting, organizing and purging this month in a big way.  I've unpacked boxes that got shoved in various closets and piled in the basement when we moved into this house almost 5 years ago.  That would make me feel bad, but remember the part in The Incredibles where Helen tells Bob that it only took her 3 years to unpack the last box?  I'm not a superhero so I think that means I'm doing pretty well!  Part of me was a tad overwhelmed and thought, oh you haven't opened these boxes & bags in 4 years, just donate them all sight unseen.  But I had open them because there were things I'd been missing and worrying about, like:

• All my "good" jewelry (with the exception of my wedding band and gold bangle that was Nana Bertha's that I wear every day).  
• My flower girl dress from my sister G's wedding when I was six.  My sister K. sewed it to match all the other bridesmaid's dresses.  It's blue dotted swiss with net sleeves.  (Do they even still make dotted swiss?)  I LOVE LOVE LOVE this dress.  I'd like to shrink myself so I could wear it again.  The only childhood dress I loved more was my "rainbow dress" from when I was 7 but we didn't think to save that one.  I think I'm going to put it in a shadowbox or display it on my bedroom wall somehow.
• Ditto the little baggie of cloth diapers that came home with me from the hospital and the one decorated with pink ribbons that the nurses made for me to wear for the occasion.  There were no NICUs 45 years ago and these little diapers are a reminder of how much these ladies loved and cared for me for 3 months and how they wouldn't give in, especially after my twin Philip passed away.  These have to be displayed somewhere special.
• 2 boxes of checks.  I knew I ordered them! 
• 2 pairs of handmade gloves with fur trim and Athabascan beading.  A very dear friend made these for us when we lived in Holy Cross.  They're too nice to wear every day but I'm going to start wearing mine more often now that I've found them.  I also found some other beaded items that we got as gifts, some keychains, a credit card holder, some earrings.
• Video of the boys when they were very little.  I found 3 tapes earlier in the month but I knew we had taken lots more.  I found 5 other tapes today.  I haven't watched them yet but I'm guessing 4 of them are of them egging each other on in the Jolly Jumper and the Exersaucer.

And the treasure hunter in me was happy to find:

• 2 savings bonds
• $100 cash ($50 in each of 2 sealed envelopes with the boys names on them, no note or card or anything and it's not our handwriting.)  I opened a bank account with it and I think it'll be the start of our Disney fund.  (I know I should put it in the college fund but if we don't start saving the boys will be in college before we get there!)
  
• A bag of lightbulbs.  Considering that the kitchen light just burnt out and the drawer where we usually keep lightbulbs is empty, this is a good find.
  
• Some silhouettes that an artist handcut at a craft show when the boys were about a year old.  I totally forgot all about these.  Just looking at them brings back memories of that time.  I need a frame for these.  I'll probably find one in another box :-D
  
• My gargoyles.  I missed their ugly mugs.
• A new pair of pants that I bought at Target in... the receipt says April.  I have no memory of buying them, but they're rather nice and they still fit.

And then there was some stuff that was easy to donate or recycle:

• All the cards & ribbon bows from my baby shower.  I always had intentions of putting these in a scrapbook or something.   Oh well.  I've got lots more current things for the scrapbooks!  And I've still got the love, if not the cute little onesies and blankets.  Actually, we do still have some of those... remind me to post the photo of 6 yo M. wearing a 6 month size romper!
• All the miscellaneous bedding that didn't match or was for the wrong size bed.
• Lots of lots of crafts and stitching supplies.  I could probably get rid of a lot more but I didn't want the "now we can go and get more" instinct to kick in.
• My collection of perfume bottles and little china boxes.  They're pretty but they're just not me anymore, you know?
• Many years of Family Fun magazine.  Everything is online now anyway.  Ditto for all the other magazines I used to keep.  I kept the Simple Scrapbooks only because I do refer to them and they're going out of print.
• A bunch of books I've finally admited I will never read again.  This was not as hard as it used to be.
• Many plastic bags and other flotsam.  Apparently I packed our garbage.

Summer Schedule

Last week I had a mini panic about the fact that summer vacation was practically upon us. I didn't want the boys to be parked in front of the tv or the computer for 2 months (though to be honest, for about 2 minutes I thought it sounded good and waaaay easy) so I came up with this little schedule for the days when P. is not in summer school and M. does not have any scheduled activity:

8:00ish: get up, have breakfast, get dressed -- no tv just like on school days (as opposed to Saturdays when I let them eat in front of it
9:00ish: go to the BAC with Mom & play while she works out
10:00ish: go on errands or fun place with Mom, maybe stop for a treat. If no errands then do art activity or baking or play outside.
11:30ish: lunch
12:00-3:00ish to keep out of the dangerous sun hours, alternate between computer time & tv time while Mom does housework, then do reading or other educational activity with Mom
3:00ish play outside or art or baking
4:00-5:00ish get ready for the pool and swim
6:00-7:00ish come home for dinner
8:00ish a bit more tv, computer, reading or trip with Dad for a treat if we didn't have one already
9:00ish bath & bed

Sounds pretty reasonable right?

Today is Day 2 of Summer Vacation and here's the schedule the boys came up with:

ReallyEarlyish: get up before the grownups and turn on tv or use the computer until grownups realize where you are and stumble downstairs in a panic. Cheerfully say you've eaten breakfast already and point to crumpled chip bags and pile of popsicle sticks.
11:00ish avoid getting dressed
12:00ish go in backyard wearing underwear minus sunscreen 1:00ish make messes with toys but don't actually play
1:30ish get in the car already so Mom stops yelling
3:00ish return from errands and eat crap in front of tv until
4:00ish go to the pool
6:oo-7:00ish avoid eating dinner. Beg for more tv & computer
9:00ish avoid going to bed. Say you're hungry.
10:00ish fight with each other and whine
11:00ish finally pass out

No exercise for Mom, no books have been read, and the house is filthy. I'm taking consolation in the fact that it is still only Day 2...

Doesn't Smell New, But Looks Pretty Good

Today I decided to clean out the car. Here's what I found:

• 1.5 plastic easter eggs (1 purple, 1/2 green)
• a metal monkey bookmark
• a broken pirate eyepatch
• 1 red wool headband
• a baggie of crushed Lucky Charms cereal (no marshmallows)
• 1 plastic thingamajig
• 4 rocks
• 10 books (2 Halloween theme)
• 4 coloring books (2 Christmas theme)
• 31 crayons (26 whole, 5 broken)
• 1 colored pencil (yellow)
• 1 cardboard tag that says "Rush" (what or to where I have no idea)
• 6 bank envelopes (empty)
• 4 raisin boxes (also empty)
• at least half a box of petrified raisins scattered all over
• 3 torn paper chef's hats from Ted's Hot Dogs
• 3 donut bags (empty; 2 Tim Hortons, 1 Dunkin Donuts)
• many many sprinkles from said donuts
• 2 ATM receipts
• 3 errand lists
• 2 shopping lists
• lots of used tissues
• a bottle of eyeglass cleaner
• 3 petrified french fries (we haven't eaten these in the car in I don't remember when. Other than the dust they looked a lot like they do when you buy them. That right there is probably reason enough to stop eating them)
• 2 blankets
• a box of emergency stuff (jumper cables, flares, etc.)
• a box containing wipes, the harnesses & cup holders from the booster seats, portable potty liners, and a first aid kit)
• the diaper bag (doesn't get daily use anymore but still good to have in case of emergencies)
• 2 kid winter gloves (not matching)
• 1 pair kid mittens (matching)
• 3 baseball hats (1 adult, 2 child - too small now)
• 1 winter coat (adult)
• 1 windbreaker (adult)
• 1 tobaggan
• 1 tote bag of swim gear
• a bag of gummy worms (empty)
• 4 toy cars
• 2 kaleidoscopes
• 1 bendy plastic cat
• 1 plastic princess ring (pink)
• 2 plastic knights and thier matching horses
• 1 transformer
• 2 toy phones
• 2 toy alphabet games
• 2 drawing boards
• 1 tic-tac-toe game
• 1 broken happy meal toy
• 1 winter scarf (child)
• 1/2 box of tissues (clean)
• my sunglasses
• my wireless headset
• 3 pens (2 blue, 1 red)
• the snowbrush
• 1 flashlight (still in package)
• $2 in change ($1.45 that I spent later, .30 that I sucked up in the vacuum and .25 that I can see but can't get out)

What's in your car?

Twitterpated

A few new things I'm loving:

These have been heavily advertised in the scrapping magazines for months and I have been anxious to get a look at them. Finally, they are available and oh so cute! I've got a few of the "Believe" ones for Christmas projects but I can't tell you any more in case the recipients are listening...

How can a magazine junkie and organizing freak not love this?All kinds of tips, tricks, storage containers and interviews with organized people I aspire to be like. I'm putting a subscription on my wish list for Santa.

The two classes I'm taking at Big Picture Scrapbooking. One is gift projects that can be made in two hours or less. Lots of inspiration, doable projects and gifts that people will actually use! Just what I needed to get the holiday gift giving season rolling. The other class is on wellness. More inspiration, tips on exercise and nutrition, and the knowledge that lots of other women are struggling with the same things I am. I've renewed my commitment to getting healthy. My classmates are very inspiring and giving ladies, I am getting so much from visiting the galleries and message boards every day -- I've done more layouts this past two weeks than I've done in 6 months. Gotta love it when creativity and practicality merge. Thanks Kolette & Lisa!

And I'm very excited about these returning favorites:

I was a late convert to Project Runway since we don't have regular tv (long story). But once I found the DVDs on Netflix, I was hooked and having fashion marathons after the boys went to bed. (Isn't it every girl's dream at some point to be a fashion designer? It seems to be the natural evolution from ballerina.) The Season 3 DVD just came out last week and I'm halfway through (don't tell me who won). Season 4 starts tonight and I need to find someone with cable to go watch with because no way am I waiting a year to see it. D. doesn't get the whole attraction and keeps telling me to go to bed and get some sleep already. But then, but he's not a woman or a gay man (thank goodness). :-D May I say how much I adore Tim Gunn? I can?Ok. I absolutely adore Tim Gunn.

Victoria has returned! What a surprise that was at the magazine section of Wegman's. Oh, did I mourn this magazine's passing. I loved everything about it: the photography, the articles, the recipes, the gentility, the Victoria of it all. Now it's back and it looks exactly the same. It's like being in a time warp, but in a really good way. Maybe this should go on my Santa wish list too.

Command Central

M. stayed home from school today with a fever, so my plans of stripping wallpaper were pretty much shot (I was really heartbroken). As anyone with a sick child knows, they don't want you too far out of range. So we snuggled on the couch and watched a movie (Dreamer - really good!) and later we did some art projects.

I found this quiz the other day on one of my favorite organizing websites. Fun, but a bit disconcerting when I realized that I am essentially all of these except The Rebel. Hoarder - yup, that's my craft area(s)! Deferrer - yup, I can procrastinate with the best of 'em. Perfectionist - well, I am a Virgo. And the blog title says it all. Sentimentalist - uh huh!

So with that in mind, and since I wasn't going to get much done today otherwise, I decided to tidy up and reorganize the "command central" area of the kitchen. There was so much stuff stuck to the refrigerator I had no idea what any of it was anymore and every time you walked by something would fall off it. I took everything off and organized the papers into folders: M's school handbook and papers, P's school handbook and papers (they go to different schools in different districts), separate homework folders for both boys, appointments and events (that little pocket on the calendar wasn't big enough), & all the papers I need for Room Mom duties. That all got organized in a nifty super-strong magnetic holder next to the calendar. Then I redid two little photo calendars: one for P. so he knows whether today is a school day or a pajama-weekend day and one so we can remember what to bring to school on what day (library book, show & tell, etc).

I had revamped my Tea Towel Cleaning Schedule a bit and printed it onto cardstock last week, so I made that into little cards for each day, as well as lists of monthly and seasonal cleaning chores (with input from the same organizing site and this one. I lost my shopping lists when the old hard drive croaked so I redid those too. And my menu lists. I put all of it in plastic envelopes that I put sticky magnets on and dressed up with some stickers from my scrapbooking stash.

Why yes, I do have too much time on my hands, why do you ask?

Now if only it would stay this way

When we moved into this house we came from a small apartment and didn't have much furniture. So instead of a formal living room, we have a big play area. We recently added a computer area and I'm moving my supplies for scrapbooking in here too. We watch tv in the adjacent "dining room." The family room off the kitchen is a toy-free, tv-free reading zone or a place to just visit with friends and family. Some people are surprised when they come to visit, but hey, this is what works for us.

I spent the last two days reorganizing and tidying up most of the play area. Over the summer we got some new stuff from cousin G., some new things during dollar store expeditions and last week I stole, uh, I mean repurposed some of the bookcases to organize my scrapbooking supplies. This is what it used to look like.

So after a trip to buy more shelving (can you tell I love these foldup bookcases?), lots of piles, lots of sorting, and putting some things into temporary retirement in the basement, this is what it looks like now. Ta da!

M&P are actually playing with the toys instead of stepping on them. They've realized they have new stuff and they've rediscovered some old favorites like the puppets. They can actually color or do art projects at the table instead of on the floor. (Though that is still M.'s preferred spot to create.) And who knows, we might even start using that train table for trains.

I need to put picture labels on the bins so they can tidy up for themselves and put everything back in its proper place. Actually, this is as much for D. as the boys. His idea of tidying up is putting it anywhere that is not the floor.

I also want to move the dressup area (which I am not picturing because it's stressful enough to show you one actual mess!) to another part of the room so I can move the computer there. I need to get some smaller bins for all that and break it down into categories. I also need some kind of unbreakable mirror so the boys can see themselves. Right now they climb up on the bathroom sink and give me heart palpitations.

Of course now that I have done all this, we will decide to paint the rooms...

What Our Grandmothers Knew

Have you ever seen those "day of the week" tea towels? The ones who have Holly Hobby or kittens or dancing fruit doing domestic chores? Monday is wash day, Tuesday is ironing day, etc. One day I looked around at the disaster area that was my home and remembered these little towels. Could it be that our grandmothers and their predecessors had the right idea? They were forced to do one chore a day because washing clothes involved hauling water, building a fire to heat it, wringing it out by hand and having it dry all day outside. Never mind making their own lye soap. I had the advantage of modern conveniences but somehow my house didn't look it. Would having a schedule actually help me get more done? Was it too anal even for Virgo me? And most importantly, would I actually follow it?

It's not that I was a slob, exactly. There just never seemed to be enough hours in the day. When the boys were infants I was too exhausted to do more than necessary to keep the health department from the door. As they became mobile it was a never ending cycle of picking up one room while they trashed another. At some point the chaos and crap would become so overwhelming that I'd have to deal with it RIGHT NOW or go insane. So I'd stay up late or get up early and go on a cleaning frenzy. And end up more exhausted and crabby as well. But now with the boys in preschool for a full day, it was clear that I needed a plan.

I tried FlyLady but couldn't keep up with the email. Besides, there's just something odd about someone you've never met sending you an email telling you to shine your sink. If it was your mother emailing that would be different. I have a love-hate relationship with Martha. A cleaning lady wasn't practical -- I'm home all day, it's not in the budget, and it's creepy. If I don't want to clean my own toilet, why would anyone else, no matter how much I was paying her?

Thus, my own version of the Tea Towel Cleaning Schedule:

Daily: laundry, dishes, make beds, toy pickup, vacuum downstairs, kitchen maintenance & bathroom maintenance. (feed the fish used to be here too until he went belly up)

Sunday: plan menus & make grocery list, outdoor chores, check calendar & get ready for coming week

Monday: grocery shop & filing

Tuesday: Clean upstairs bathroom, dust & vacuum upstairs, run errands

Wednesday: Clean kitchen, clean downstairs bathroom, dust downstairs

Thursday: Mending/ironing, put garbage out in evening

Friday: Organizing (pick project each week)

Saturday: Change sheets, wash towels, dust & vacuum upstairs, outdoor chores

I typed it up on a nice neat list and hung it prominently on a kitchen cabinet. Partly to remind myself of the schedule and partly in the hopes that the other people who live here and are able to read might pitch in of their own accord.

After eight months I can say that it does work. For the most part, the house is cleaner and is staying that way longer. I am less stressed because I can think to myself "yes the kitchen floor is a mess, but I will take care of it on Wednesday." The kids have some developmentally appropriate chores that they can handle and enjoy doing (their future wives will thank me someday). When hubby asks what he can do to help I tell him to check the list.

I have also learned a few things: don't post anything on your cabinets that you don't want party guests to read and ask questions about, it doesn't really bother me if the beds are unmade but if there are dishes in the sink the whole house is dirty, clean both bathrooms on the same day, I still forget to dust, and somehow allowing either the ironing or the filing to slide causes the whole system to collapse (these are the two tasks I actually enjoy the most but are the easiest to ignore).

I now have time to work out, pursue hobbies, and those big jobs like organizing closets, painting the kitchen and going through unpacked moving boxes are actually getting done. Slowly, that's true, but progress is being made.

Thanks Grandma.